Value Blindness

Have any of you had the experience I just had?

I just finished a sketch of a book illustration.  My client loved it...and I was a shocked at the approbation.  I spent some time on the image.  I tried to do a good job.  But, I'm rarely pleased with what I make.

I held up the drawing and thought to myself, "I don't understand why he likes this so much."

And I realized...I've reached the point where I can't see the value in my own work.  I am blind.

I've had this thought before, but it struck me today.

Perspective is funny.  We buy into delusions because we don't see situations as they are.  Every experience we have is colored...is skewed.

When we look at our own artwork, our opinions are warped because of our insecurities.

Some of us underestimate our ability.  We think our work is terrible and don't understand why anyone would like it.

Others of us overestimate our ability.  We're convinced that we are far better than we actually are.

I'm actually glad that I skew towards undervaluing my work.  The result is that I can under-promise and over-deliver.  Those who boast of skills they don't have tend to underwhelm.  I would rather let others brag on me than to brag on myself.

My goal is to look at my work, and everything in life, with an objective lens.  I want to see things as they are, not as I want or fear them to be.  What a rare skill.